A Sovereign Sacrifice

It's been a couple weeks since any updates have come through… We are still working on fund raising and now we are finishing our adoption contract, so it feels like a good time to share how we matched with our donor family.

Austin and I had decided this was something on pursuing Snowflake Adoption after about a year of prayer and careful consideration. However, we came to this decision in the privacy of our own home and didn't even announce we wanted to pursue this until 6 months later! We had the intention of meeting with our clinic to be placed on the anonymous donation list- where we would select available embryos that had already been donated and raise them without any known information of the biological parents. This seemed easy to us, there were limited strings attached, no concern for communication, and not having a relationship with the biological family made me feel like I had more room to be “mom”. However, we quickly realized that our family may experience the complete opposite.

At the beginning of the year I had received a message on Instagram that stated:

“Hi, I just started following snowflakes embryo donation program on IG & somehow came across your page/blog and honestly was shocked by the happiness I felt. I saw so much that I feel I’m looking for- in a couple for my embryos. It gave me hope that there are people out there who would meet what I’m looking for. I don’t know your whole story or your plans but wanted you to know & didn’t want to regret not sending you something.”

This totally shook me to my core as we had not even mentioned our plan to adopt anywhere publicly at this point. I had no idea who this person was, or how she found me so quickly, but her statement was extremely encouraging. I thanked her for her kind words, and mentioned that my husband and I were looking to adopt 3 embryos, and again to my surprise she had 3 embryos to donate. All of this had felt too good to be true and I went into the conversation not planning on anything coming from it, but the Lord is good, and has blessed an amazing relationship from it.

These conversations quickly turned into a great relationship, and I came to find out that this person was also a Christian, and wanted her children she could no longer carry to go to a God loving and serving home. She explained her past events that lead to these little babies needing a home, and how she had been pursuing a match. Against all of my husbands and I’s expectations of the processes, through God’s grace, we have been matched with this donor family and her 3 beautiful embryos. Together our families can pray for this situation, and for those children, and rejoice together for His sovereign word.

Taking this match meant our lives would look very different than we expected, we now know the biological family, and speak to them often. We now will maintain a relationship with them, and eventually our kids may have the opportunity to meet them. This was very different than I thought I wanted, but I could not be more at peace with it.

The Lord is sovereign, and his plans are greater than ours. He has ordained this relationship from the beginning and although we didn’t expect it, we would not trade it for the world. We could not have been placed with a better match, as the donor family is so encouraging and respectful towards us. They rejoice with us, and pray for us, and we are comforted by our brotherly love for one another. I can’t imagine the difficulty this adoption must cause for them, and a mix of emotions I pray I may never endure. They are sacrificing something we should not have to give, and they are doing so with the strongest intent, compassion, and grace one could have.

To our donors,

Thank you. I will never be able to stop thanking you, as this painful sacrifice is also the greatest gift our family could receive here on this earth. Thank you for recognizing their humanity, and how at the smallest form of a human we can see- they are image bearers of God. I can’t imagine the pain your family has endured to get to this point, and I hope you know we recognize this. We do not take this lightly, and our duties come with many parts:

Our duty to you- We pray we can meet the expectations you had when choosing us as your match. We pray we can raise our children in a way that is comforting to you, and keeps you at peace. Our duty to be clear and honest with you, and treat you as our brother and sister in Christ primarily.

Our duty to our children- We pray we can raise them to know, love, and serve our God. We will be honest with our children of their origin and encourage them at the appropriate times to know of their origins. Ultimately, we hope that our children know that they were never ours, and they were never yours either- but the Lords. We pray our children go through life with righteous judgement, displaying the fruits to honor our Lord.

Our duty to ourselves- We pray that our marriage will be strengthened by this journey, that we will lean into each other and encourage one another through the physical and emotional trials to come. We pray we will be sanctified bearing and raising our children, and we would put ourselves first so we can raise our children well.

Our duty to the Lord- We pray God will continue to guide us and provide for us, as we will raise our family to know his great name and serve Him. Our duty is to put Christ at the foot of our foundation and the head of our household. We will raise our family with conviction and to be an honorable vessel to Him. We will continue to give praise and thanksgiving to the Lord who has provided a beautiful family for us thus far and will continue to bless us.

I hope you know, we take our duties seriously, and we hope to serve not only our own family well, but also yours. We feel fortunate enough to not only receive an earthly relationship with you, but a spiritual one as well. I pray we all find comfort knowing one day all of our scars will one day be healed, all pain will be taken away, and all tears will be wiped away. We will stand together as the body of Christ praising the only true and holy God. That same God who allowed us to endure many trials for his glory. We are so thankful for His gift of grace in that, but also we are so thankful for your grace and gift to our family. You have taken a heart wrenching situation and given one of the biggest blessings we will ever receive. We will never take it for granted.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Your thankful recipients

“Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the victory and the majesty, for all that is in the heavens and in the earth is yours. Yours is the kingdom, O Lord, and you are exalted as head above all.”- 1 Chronicles 29:11